Still, in waking life I was never attracted to men.Afterward I was suddenly faced with a new, it wasn't an attractionexactly, but I'll call it a new "awareness" of men. (She shiftedslightly in her seat, brushed back some loose hair, and slight look ofembarrassment crossed her face.)I found myself suddenly becoming aware of men in a different light. Itwasn't so much a sexual attraction, or at least not like the attractionI felt toward women when I was a man, but it manifest as an awareness ofthe vast difference between my new self and the men that happened to bearound me. It was a bit weird to get used to.The other thing I found was that men started to smell usually good tome. I was always put off by the smell of a locker room filled withsweaty men. Now the thought of entering an odor-filled locker room likethat excited me in a way that I can't exactly describe. It wasn'texactly a sexual turn-on but it was something much different than I wasused to. It was unusual for me too. Diwali ka time tha toh main apne flat se Anand Vihar ISBT nikla ghar ki bus pakadne. Raste mein mujhe dost ka call aaya aur woh mujhe mil gaya. Fir hum bar chale gaye 2-2 beer peeke main bus pakadne nikal gaya. ISBT pahucha toh pata laga sari buses late hai aur jo hai woh sab full thi holidays ki wajah se.Fir 1-2 ghante wait karne ke baad finally mujhe 1 seat mili.Tab tak raat ke 8 baj chuke the. Fir safar shuru hua toh maine notice kiya mere aage wali seat pe do ladkiya baithi hai. Usme se 1 ladki baar baar samne laga driver ke uppar wale mirror se mujhe dekhe jaa rahi thi. Maine bhi smile kar diya. Lekin baat yahin nahi ruki. Fir woh ghum kar smile dene lagi. Mujhe bhi beer ka suroor tha. Maine bhi interest dikhaya fir. Fir woh baar baar apne phone ko aise dikhati jaise kuch dikhana chahtti ho. Maine dekha toh uska Facebook profile tha.Main samajh gaya yeh apni behen ki wajah se baat nahi kar rahi isliye Facebook profile dikha rahi hai. Maine uska profile search kiya. Aur request.
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